May We Suggest...

With a heavy heart, I'm writing to announce that I've finally turned off the "Suggestions" menu in my TiVo.

For some reason TiVo thinks I'm interested in every syndicated episode of Becker ever made. He also thinks I like The Fabulous Life Of..., George Lopez and Magnum P.I. Now, while I could probably accept any of those shows on a really slow Sunday (and only when Flavor of Love or a derivative is not in rotation) TiVo and I had our last spat over its insistence on recording Simon & Simon.

Now that Suggestions and I are on hiatus, though, I have to wonder about something. What part of my viewing habits is so unsavory that it would come up with that sampling especially for me?

Romance Clinic, or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love My Heroines

I rarely submit stories for anthologies or specific themes because my writing tends to go off on its own course. The moment I know something "specialized" is required, I can bet the farm the story will go far afield of its original intent. I'm experiencing this now -- writing a story on command, with a specific word count, genre and audience focus.

Outlines and synopses be damned...I can't get this thing done. I don't feel particularly blocked. In fact, I have a whole lot to say. It's just that the deeper I dig, the more I realize I'm not finding the romance in this story.

And there lies the problem: I'm not a romance writer.

It's not a romance if...
- the story can stand alone without romantic elements

That's what I've been told. That's what I've read.

Kind, well-meaning authors have tried to tell me this in the past. All that did was put my nose out of joint. And since my mom always says, "You don't believe shit stinks until you smell it," I had to do a lot of reading and writing to finally come to the same conclusion all on my own.

After a writer-friend said, "Romance seems to be secondary in your stories. In fact, your heroine always seems to do everything in her power to not be with the hero, it's crazy!" I finally had one of those Oprah's light bulb moments.

My heroines are commitment-phobic. They are often "coerced" into romance. If I wrote historicals, I'm sure I'd probably be fond of those un-PC forced seductions. Egads!

"Sassy is fine," I'm often told. "But your heroine is going into "unlikable" territory, and the reader won't be able to relate. Why must she be so ornery?"

Since I spent most of my year partying at Must.Find.A.Publisher-alooza 2007, similar questions have been asked of me as I shopped my wares. After much gnashing of teeth on my end, I sat down and reevaluated my goals.

I believe publishing is a cooperative business between authors, publishers and readers. Therefore, I set out to cooperate.

For a brief time, I went into what I like to call Romance Clinic. I picked the brains of the sexier writers I know and got critiques -- good and bad. I wrote a lot, edited a lot and revised a lot. I wrote some good stories during this period. I wrote stories that need to be rehabbed. I wrote stories that will never see the light of day. Most importantly, I wrote and wrote and wrote some more.

Out of all that writing came another light bulb moment: I gotta be me.

I'd be doing a disservice to myself and readers if I suddenly morphed into someone else. And whether publishers realize it or not, me sending them watered down versions of my original vision would be a disservice to them.

So all I can do now is work on the stuff every romance/erotica writer should care about. For me, these include tighter writing, better grammar/punctuation, better plots and hotter love scenes.

Horsin' Around

A confession:

In November 2006, I wrote my first fantasy story. The story published under Shay Leonard, one of my pseudonyms and contained enough subversive elements and not enough sex to get it published elsewhere. Sin, the first installment in my Horsemen of Apocalypse Island series sold fairly well for a story with little promotion and more mythology than epic passion.

The story sat in my folder until the evening I admitted to my friend Taige Crenshaw that I was a dabbler in the genre. I'm truly a fan of her work, so when she asked me to send a copy of the manuscript, I couldn't get it into her Yahoo IM fast enough. She quickly read the story and gave me her honest opinion, "I loved it. But it could be sexier. It could be so much more bad ass. It could be epic. I think this story could be explored farther."

I threw down the gauntlet, "It's like that, huh? You want to explore my story? Go on, then. Explore."

Two days later she sent me her exploration of Sin. She added examples of elements that would strengthen the story. She called me and admitted that she'd fallen hard for Sin. Her ideas added beauty and dimension to a story I already loved. Our discussions about the characters and mythology were so enthusiastic that we finally discussed a collaboration -- something I'd never before considered. Then we discussed publishing the fruits of our combined labors.

So we shopped our beloved horsies. We looked for a suitable home to showcase their virilty, mythology and their way with the ladies. We were happy to find a home with total e bound.

Taige and I invite you into the mythology of the Horsemen of Apocalypse Island.

To visit the Horsemen, visit:

http://www.layneblacque.com/books/horsemen/sin.htm

http://www.taigecrenshaw.com/books/horsemen/index.html

New Contracts/New Publishers

Ascending Venus, a fantasy romance featuring a sassy bronzed Venus and a besotted Mercury as her consort, sold to New Concepts Publishing. More about Ascending Venus..

Pros and Cons, a contemporary romance about a cat burglar and the hot guy she robs sold to New Concepts Publishing. More about Pros and Cons…

Whipped, a contemporary about a career-minded woman with a fetish for pain sold to total-e-bound. More about Whipped…

Sin, a fantasy romance co-written with Taige Crenshaw sold to total-e-bound. More about Sin…

Ode to Auntie Ro

Tonight I saw my Aunt Ro. When I told her I just had a story released, she immediately reached for her wallet. "You still writing articles and nasty stories? That one about that lady in jail upset me something terrible."

"That's all right, Auntie. This is an electronic book," I explained. "You'll need a computer to read it. And some of the language is racy."

"Oh, okay. I'll buy two. But I ain't gonna promise you I'll read it. You like to kill people too much...and why don't the people have happy endings?"

I laughed. "This is different kind of story. My heroine ends up happy enough, I suppose."

"Uhm," she grunted, looking at the cover. "She showing her backside."

"She's been a bad girl," I joked.

Auntie smiled brightly. "Breaking Becky," she whispered, allowing the words to roll off her tongue. "Well if she's bad, then I'll take four."

Breaking Becky's Been Giggled!

And apparently, my romantic stylings made Mrs. Giggles laugh hard.

Yesterday Was the Best Day Ever!

You'll think I'm here to gush about the recent release of Breaking Becky (available now from Liquid Silver Books!). Or maybe I'll talk about my upcoming titles. Nah. That's next week.

Yesterday was the best day ever because my Angry TV Boyfriend took home the gold. Rock of Hell's Kitchen beat out the competition and won his own restaurant! I'm ecstatic -- and not just because this is the first correct reality show prediction I've made. Even though that makes me feel kinda warm and fuzzy. Nope. I'm happy because I knew the angriest chef would win.

I've worked for -- and with -- chefs. One of my dearest friends and her ex-husband are chefs. And while they're great people, they have a drive and energy that's undeniable. Rock may have lost his shit over lobster bisques and garbage duty, but I'm sure he'll hold it together in his kitchen.

And yes, I'll say it now: I definitely smell what Rock is cooking.

As for Gordon Ramsey... Woof! HK and Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares have won me over. If the good-cooking, profanity-spewing hottie keeps it up, I might finally be able to move on from my first TV Chef Boyfriend: Rocco DiSpirito.